In the year since then, the checks have kept rolling in, and Zirconium, who runs a small sanding emporium in Westchesterfield, Ohio, has been enjoying the windfall. Prior to this year, Mr. Zirconium reports that he had never received a single donation of any amount, but he has since started to receive hundreds of unsolicited donations — averaging about $27.00 each.

“It’s been amazing!” Bernie said. “Sanding seems to have finally gotten the attention and respect it deserves!”

Zirconium has started to use the money to promote his business’s latest campaign, tackling problems facing every American shop owner. “A sander in every home! That’s my platform. I think sanders should be affordable for everyone. It’s the key to any project’s future. I said that in 1960, and I’ll keep saying it.”

“I’m not in this business to make a profit. There’s no money to be made at Bernie’s Sanders. Just like sanding, the art of selling sanders is a labor of love,” Bernie muttered with a far-off misty look in his eyes.

Zirconium suddenly became rather agitated, slamming his fist into his workbench and yelling in an exaggerated Ohioan accent, “Gosh darn it, who doesn’t love the smell of some freshly made sawdust?”

Then, just as suddenly as it came on, the excitement was gone and Bernie was himself again. “Sorry. I’m just really, really, really passionate about sanding.”

As for his newfound popularity, Zirconium shies away from the spotlight. “This isn’t about me. This is about sanding. Somebody said I looked like Larry David the other day, so that was nice.”

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To show you like somebody (or just like their workshop), just push their picture through to the right. Don’t want anything to do with them? Cut them off to the left into the scrap pile. With Tim-bur, you’ll never clamp alone again.

Here’s a sample question from the Tim-bur application process:

What characteristics would you like in a mate? Check the boxes that apply:

Able to move a full sheet of plywood single-handedly.

Loves to hand sand wood for hours on end.

Can sharpen any type of saw blade by hand.

Enjoys cleaning dust collection systems.

Can open a paint can with bare hands.

Smiles at the thought of fetching clamps.

Lives to clean the shop.

*Tim-bur guarantees nothing. You will be lucky if you can get a match on any one of the above, but dreams keep us alive.

The post Tim-bur App: Never Clamp Alone Again appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

We’ve all been there. You’re in the workshop having a great time cutting plywood on the table saw with your friends. It’s a perfect photo op. You wish you could grab your cell phone and capture this fun memory, but you’re using both hands to safely make the cut. You could ask one of your friends to grab their camera, but then they’d be left out of the photo. Why is it always so difficult to get the perfect selfie when you’re using a table saw? It shouldn’t be this hard! And now it isn’t.

The Selfie Push Stick from Lockerr solves the problem. It’s a push stick and a selfie stick all in one easy-to-use tool. Simply mount your camera in the universal camera clamp bracket at the end of the Selfie Push Stick. Then plug in the trigger cable. Now you can push a piece of lumber across the table saw and take a picture of yourself (and any friends that are hanging out in your shop) at the same time. The Selfie Push Stick features a trigger in the handle, so you’ll only be a little distracted from your cutting operation. It’s fun, and pretty safe.

The post Selfie Push Stick: Finally, Selfies at Your Table Saw appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

Imagine opening the box of a BRAND-NEW miter saw every month, with a sparkling tool inside just waiting to make project parts for you? It’s like a Christmas morning that never has to end. If there’s anything we can do about it, IT NEVER WILL.

How does this Club work? How do legions of other woodworkers know about this already and I don’t? How do I sign up? We’re glad you asked!

For just two semiannual dues payments of $29.99*, BMG will send you the latest from today’s hot new miter saw models. The biggest blades … the most lasers … the newest whiz-bang features. ALL NEW, ALL THE TIME!

Then, once the first saw arrives, you’ll be sent another new saw next month, and every month after that to try out – RISK-FREE!** You choose the saws you want to buy, and send back the saws you don’t***. It couldn’t be easier! It couldn’t be more fun!!

We’ll bill you monthly for that special saw you just can’t live without. It can be yours for just 12 easy payments of $59.99****. That’s less than $2 a day, give or take — you can’t buy a jumbo drink at the Golden Arches for that price anymore!

Think of it: You’ll be the envy of every woodworker on your block! Write your own tool reviews! Become a Zen master of miter saw-ery!! Dazzle visitors with your knowledge of detents, developed horsepower and deep bevel cuts!!! The bravado and bragging rights will be yours — and that, friend, is priceless!!!!

How can you pass this up? YOU CAN’T! So act now! Here’s how.

Call 1-800-SAW-SCAM. Or like us on Twacebook, Flitter, Disinterest and Instascam.

* Billed automatically and in perpetuity to your credit card.

** Unless you hurt yourself, damage the saw, damage the shipping carton or damage the packing material in the effort to put it back into the box correctly. Residual sawdust on the saw qualifies as “damage.” Damages are the sole responsibility of Club members. Your credit card will be billed for the full purchase price.

*** Saw returns must be received by BMG within 24 hours of delivery to you. Otherwise, your credit card will be billed for the full purchase price.

****Prices subject to change without notice. Shipping, handling, processing, restocking, import, export and security fees also apply. Yep, your credit card will be billed.

The post Saw of the Month Club! appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

So, it was only a matter of time before the extremely versatile Rockler Bandy Clamp found its way into yet another application. Now that the Bandy Clamp comes in three different sizes – Small, Medium and Large (in an example of innovative nomenclature) – it’s proved itself the perfect workshop accessory for teen and tween woodworkers (or woodworkers’ daughters). And we mean “accessory” in all senses of the word.

The royal blue colored clamp makes a fashion statement all its own, while simultaneously keeping hair out of power tools. That proprietary rubber band with its tough, tear-resistant material can hold up to any hairstyle – plus, it conforms to any shape. Ponytails, pigtails … unicorn horn hair, anyone? The possibilities are endless.

The post Hair Bandy appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

Mort Ismaker: Serves you right, Axel. Anybody who can rub two boards together knows this sort of newfangled technology doesn’t belong in the shop. Robot-controlled routers are bound to take over eventually. What did you expect? Even a monkey will eventually type War & Peace if you leave it in front of a typewriter long enough. Why shouldn’t a router run by computer chips eventually do something unnatural, too?

I believe woodworking comes only from the sweat of our own brows, not some IT programmer’s dream of working wood without ever actually touching it. If your CNC “wonder” router is spitting out two whirligigs instead of one, it’s your problem, buddy. Unplug the darn thing, grab a Yankee drill and a good old crosscut saw, and get to work! Leave automation outside the shop door. ‘Nuff said. I’ve got a few pencils to finish carving and some candles to dip before it gets dark.

Job Rinestone: Don’t fight the technology revolution! When’s the last time you remember finishing every single project on your to-do list? I’ll wager it’s been a long time. And that’s just getting ONE of everything made! Think of the possibilities here, my friend: if you play your cards right, that Swordfish is checking off your holiday gift list every time you set it loose. From now till December 24, you are RACKING UP PROJECTS right and left, man! That machine is like a private elf army. Kick back and enjoy it, I say. Wish I had a Swordfish myself.

Phillup D. Glewbottel: Sorry, Axel, but I’ll have to withhold comment. I’m finally close to figuring out how to program my VHS player, so no time for CNC here. I’m sure a radio-controlled whizbang router like you have there is loads of fun. Good luck with it, but keep the shop door locked at night, just in case. You can never be too careful with power tools … or newfangled technology.

The post How Can I Stop a CNC from Duplicating My Projects? appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

Can you guys help me out? I want to love woodworking a lot more, but I can’t stop worrying that I’m going down the wrong path here. I just want to take my fretsaw and go home.

-Vic Sation

Mark Hawkins: Vic, I hate to say it, but maybe woodworking isn’t right for you. Maybe you should try to write a novel, build model ships or take up running marathons. When I had trouble focusing on my woodworking hobby a few years ago, I took up professional wrestling, and I’ve never felt more in touch with reality.

Ron Jobstone: You just need to chill out and stop worrying so much! A lot of the fun in woodworking is in the mistakes. Why, just the other day I spent twelve hours fitting together a cabinet for my daughter and when I was finished, I realized my calculations were off by a third of an inch.

Did I obsess about it for the rest of the week? Did I try to cut it down on my table saw and only make the measurement worse? Did I try to force the pieces together by hand? Did I go out and buy some new clamps that were more expensive than anything else in my shop to try to fix this mistake?

YES, VIC! YES I DID! And I was so mad I couldn’t believe it. Some projects just make me want to scream! Who told you that woodworking was relaxing?!

Dr. Joe Vial DDS: Maybe you’re just using the wrong tool for the job? If you find your fretsaw frustrating, try a different tool for a change! For fine jobs, I prefer using my coping saw. That little saw and I have been through a lot together and I wouldn’t want to use anything else. Cutting with it just feels so relaxing. It really helps me deal with life’s troubles.

The post How to Deal with Fret Saw Grief appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.

Editor: Do you own a calendar?

“Rob, I’ve got a great suggestion for what you can do in retirement. There’s this little hobby that’s been giving me lots of fun for the past few years. All you need is some wood and a few tools …” – Bobby Shopperatt

“Rob, I can’t express how much I’ll miss reading your eZine editorials now that you’ve decided to hang up your shop apron. But, for those woodworking novices who look to you for enlightenment, I do feel compelled to point out some significant safety issues in your editorial photos this time. I would NEVER, EVER, surf on my combination machine without wearing safety glasses. And why didn’t you roll up your sleeves when doing yoga poses on your contractor’s saw? Juggling circular saws without hearing protection?! Simply inexcusable. – R. Alf Nater

“Thanks so much for the plans for the paperweight! This thing has so many uses it’s unbelievable! Not only can I use it to hold my papers down, but I can also set my beer can on top of it and not leave a wet ring on those same papers! Or, I could use it to prop open my shop door for a cooling breeze on those hot days. Tip it sideways and stand it on end, and it keeps my Aa-Zz set of unabridged encyclopedias from tipping over! And more!” – Levon Innapast

“The Saw of the Month Club is just what I’ve been looking for! As soon as they expand into band saws and table saws, I’ve got the excuse I’ve been looking for to condemn my neighbor’s property by right of eminent domain and expand my shop space – and believe me, I’ve been looking for a reason to do that for a long, long time.” – Mayor S. Lee Zee

“I’ve been part of Saw of the Month Club for two years! Now, I’ve got so many saws there’s one set for every angle. Floor space has gotten tight in my shop, but my miters are dead-on every time. Maybe you’ll accept this as a Trick of the Trade? Anyway, can’t recommend SOMC highly enough!!!” – Serious Lee Broke

“I cannot recommend that Tim-bur app enough. It didn’t take wearing rosewood-colored glasses to quickly find someone who could add a hot and steam-bendy situation to my shop. Wow! Those sinuous curves are something to admire! We’ll be getting jiggy together for a long time to come.” – Bodicia R. Ipper

“About that Tricks video, there’s nothing wrong with being crooked, at least in woodworking. But, there’s one thing I wished you could have shown: what’s the best way to glue the bark back on?” – Ima B. Leever

The post Advice for the Temporally Challenged appeared first on Woodworking | Blog | Videos | Plans | How To.